


Year long Secrets

by angeljun



Category: NCT, NCT (Band)
Genre: Im bad at this, M/M, Noren, angst maybe, fluff maybe, idk - Freeform, nomin, noren endgame, norenmin, renmin, renmin as best friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-11-27 20:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20954618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angeljun/pseuds/angeljun
Summary: You don’t know what to feel when you find things you shouldn’t but one thing was for sure Renjun didn’t expect for heartbreak.Or Renjun finds some of Jeno’s things that makes him think Jeno never loved him.





	Year long Secrets

Renjun had never ever thought he’d get his heartbroken, especially from someone he loved so much. He didn’t mean to find the photo book filled with pictures of someone else, all the letters that were similar to the ones he has saved from high school but addressed to someone else. 

He didn’t mean to go through his boyfriends things but when the picture of his best friend smiling so brightly fell out of the book he got curious, who knew that Jeno was always In love with Jaemin. 

He surely didn’t. 

Renjun should’ve seen it coming, all those times in high school when Jeno and Renjun we’re together at the lunch table with all their friends, Jeno only had eyes for one person and that wasn’t Renjun. His love and trust for Jeno stopped Renjun from thinking that Jeno was in fact in love with someone else, that wasn’t Renjun, someone who was his best friend someone who was like his brother.

Renjun neatly put everything back into place before walking out of his boyfriends work room. He didn’t know what to think of his findings but he needed to be make sure what he thought was true or not, he didn’t want to assume things that could be wrong. 

It has been three days since Renjun had found the book with picture and the letters, he didn’t know how to find out if his assumptions were true or not. Until Jaemin has asked him to hang out on Saturday he agreed upon being asked when Jeno asked “can I come too?” Renjun wanted to cry right then and there but he couldn’t say no when Jeno gave him the most adorable pout and the big puppy eyes “sure Jeno you can come”, he never called Jeno by his name it was always either babe, nono, or sweet names, “Jeno” felt weird like his heart didn’t believe that was the right thing to call him. 

...

Saturday rolled around quicker than he expected, together Renjun and Jeno walked into the cafe Jaemin had chosen to meet up at. They ordered what they wanted to eat and drink then proceeded to talk about things, some not interesting Renjun so he couldn’t say anything. He felt like the third wheel while his boyfriend and best friend talked about photography and dance, those things didn’t really interest Renjun, he liked things like aliens and drawing. 

He felt like breaking down but not in front of the two so he excused himself and headed to the bathroom where he cried for what felt like forever. He made sure his eyes didn’t look swollen and fixed the tiny amount of makeup before heading back. 

The three decided to head to the amusement park to reminisce the times they shared at the park during high school. Renjun wasn’t really a fan of rides yet he always went to make Jaemin happy, as for Jeno he didn’t mind rides but he always sat with Renjun while Jaemin rode the many rides the park had to offer. 

“Hey Jun” Renjun snapped out when looking at Jeno confused, Jeno let out a chuckle “you spaced out love” he didn’t want to let Jeno go Renjun loved him so much but if Jeno really liked jaemin then he’ll let Jeno go. 

Renjun smiled at Jeno “yeah I guess I did. Were you saying something” 

“I was just saying how us three being together reminds me so much of high school” Renjun couldn’t help but agree “and also how I’m so glad that all three of us are still together and never separated” 

“That makes me happy too just wish the others were with us right now too” Renjun couldn’t help but think of their other high school friends he missed them so much. Chenle returned to China after graduating taking jisung with him, as for Mark and Haechan they went to Canada to visit Mark’s parents but ended up staying there.

“Guys! Come let’s go buy something to eat” Renjun and Jeno looked at each other before shaking their heads and laughing. For a while Renjun completely forgot about the possibility of his boyfriend being in love with his best friend instead he enjoyed their company and their time together. 

As they walked back home in the starry lit night sky Jeno grabbed hold of Renjun hands intertwining their fingers while smiling down at him, Renjun felt the rush of blood to his cheeks by the action. 

“Bye guys, we have to do this again” Jaemin said once they reached his house, he made sure to give both Renjun and Jeno a hug before heading inside. Renjun knew it was a friendly hug but it still made him want to cry. 

“Come on babe let’s go home” Jeno said then grabbing Renjun hand again before heading home. 

Jeno seemed to notice how quiet Renjun was the whole walk home and made sure to ask him why once they got home. 

Jeno was gonna ask him what was wrong but Renjun went straight to their room to change his clothes. Jeno sat down on the bed waiting for Renjun to come out of the bathroom thinking what he could’ve done wrong.

Once Renjun came out he grabbed hold of his wrist and sat him down on his lap, no matter how hard Renjun tried to get away Jeno held tighter.

“Jun tell me what’s wrong?” 

“Nothings wrong Jeno” 

“Please tell me I know something’s bothering you” 

“Fine I’ll tell you” He didn’t want to tell him but he knew there would come a time where he’d have to. 

“Well you see...the thing is...” Renjun took a deep breath before starting again “ a few days ago I was cleaning your work room...when I found pictures of jaemin in a book and letters too a-and Jeno....do you like Jaemin?.“

Renjun felt Jeno arms slowly let go of him he got off of Jeno’s lap looking at him. 

“Was it always him? Jeno please tell me” Renjun questioned trying his best not to cry. 

“I’m sorry” Renjun knew from those two words that his assumptions were right “I should’ve thrown those away” Renjun started sobbing, he felt his chest squeeze it hurt a lot. 

“Why are you with me then if you like him?” Renjun asked whispering.

“Those letters that were meant to go into Jaemin’s bag but Mark always put them in yours” Jeno chuckled lightly “you two always had matching things so guess he got confused”

“w-why didn’t you ever tell me?” renjun asked choking back a sob. 

“I didn’t want to hurt you” Jeno looked up at renjun tears welled up in his beautiful eyes, it hurt him knowing that he was the reason renjun was crying “you always were so excited getting letters from your ‘secret admirer’ i just didn’t want to ruin it for you” 

“Jen, yes I would’ve been disappointed but I know i’d understand” renjun placed his hands on top of Jeno’s that were laying peacefully on his Jeno’s lap “If you put jaemin’s name anywhere in the letters, I would’ve understood” 

Renjun knew if one truly loved someone they’d be ready to give up their own happiness for their loved ones and that’s what he was gonna do. 

“once you confessed after figuring out that I was the one sending the letters, I didn’t want to hurt you so I ‘confessed’ too” renjun let out a sob “please injun don’t cry” he couldn’t help but cry. 

renjun got up went to his closet and came back with a box entitled “letters from tloml” it was cheesy but renjun found it cute, renjun walked towards Jeno and gave him the box. 

“take this to Jaemin right now or tomorrow it doesn’t matter but tell him the truth, tell him how you really feel, tell him that he was the one you liked back in high school and still do” without another word Renjun turned to walk away from Jeno. Dramatic exists don’t really work out for Renjun currently since Jeno grabbed hold of his wrist. 

“wait renjun let me finish explaining please” 

“there’s nothing more to explain jeno it’s clear you still like Jaemin hence the photo book and the letters and look now you have all of them” he pointed towards the box, renjun took a deep breath “just tell him jeno” he smiled at the latter then walked out the apartment. 

. . . 

renjun cursed under his breath for forgetting his jacket at home, the late night autumn breeze hitting him with every step he took. 

he just needed to be alone, to release all his feelings. 

he wanted to turn back and tell Jeno not to leave him but he wanted jeno to be happy and if that meant losing him he’s okay with it. 

even if it hurts a lot. 

“renjun?! where are you?!” renjun looked around finally taking in his surroundings, in the middle of the park he heard someone calling for him. 

“please Jun come back! I need you!” who could it be? 

“come home injun! please!” he could hear the voice getting closer knowing who the voice belonged to, he walked towards the direction of the sweet melodic voice. 

There a few feet away he saw Jeno frantically looking around for him, he looked tired, hair wet probably from the sweat. Once their eyes met Jeno ran towards Renjun and wrapped his arms around the petite boy holding him tight afraid that he might escape him again. 

“are you okay?” Jeno placed his hands on Renjun’s cheeks checking if he was alright “god your cold, what were you thinking going out without a jacket?” he asked whilst taking his off and making Renjun wear it. 

“what are you doing Jeno? shouldn’t you be telling Jaemin the truth?” Renju asked. 

“renjun lets go home i’ll explain everything to you properly” Jeno stared at him. Renjun nodded which made Jeno grab hold of his hand tightly before heading home. 

Once they arrived they sat on the couch Jeno wrapping a blanket around Renjun who still had Jeno’s jacket on, renjun loved wearing his clothes he loved how Jeno smelled, weird, but he always to have the feeling of jeno always being with him whenever they were apart. 

“i’m not gonna lie to you anymore heck i shouldn’t have ever lied to you” renjun looked at him “yes i did love jaemin back in high school and i know i shouldn’t have confessed to you when i didn’t have any feelings for you” renjun promised himself that he wouldn’t cry but that was really hard with all that Jeno was saying. 

“but renjun every time i was with you i learned things about you i didn’t know, you made me feel loved, you were always the only one there for me when no one else was, you believed in me when no one else did, you slowly made me fall in love with you” Jeno stares at Renjun tears welling up in both their eyes “every time we were together i felt as if i was on cloud nine, it’s stupid but i was always felt like there was a whole zoo in my stomach whenever you smiled at me, my heart would race every time i’d see you talk about the things that interested you” 

renjun was a weeping mess all that he was hearing made is heart swell from all the love he had for Jeno. “jeno i-“ a finger on his lips prevented him from talking “no Junnie let me talk right now” 

“it was stupid of me to even keep those pictures and yes it is creepy but i was a stupid teen” renjun smiled slightly “but you have to believe me after you came into i’m my world it was always you and only you, i only ever thought of Jaemin as nothing but one of my best friends after I fell in love with you” renjun felt so happy, he’s glad he told Jeno about what he found and that he’s finally hearing the truth “and Jun I know for sure no matter what happens it’s always gonna be you, no one else” 

Renjun couldn’t hold back anymore so he reached for Jeno and hugged him as tight as he can “i’m so sorry for ever doubting your love for me nono, I guess i was just sad but i’m truly sorry” they broke the hug and looked at each other “it’s okay junnie i’m sorry too, I should’ve told you”.

For the rest of the night they lay in each other’s arms feelings content with one another, heart filled with love for each other, fully knowing that no one can come between them again. Jeno also promised Renjun that he’d throw away all the pics and the letters. 

No what happens in the future they both knew that from now on they’d have to tell each other everything that bothers them, if they wanted to last a long time they’d have to trust each other and hope for the best.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my first fic. it’s not the best but i’m truly thankful you took time to read this <3.


End file.
